


Never Work with Children (they're animals)

by Graceful_Storyteller



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Fury does not want to deal with your complaints, Gen, Kidfic, de-ageing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-16
Updated: 2012-08-16
Packaged: 2017-11-12 06:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graceful_Storyteller/pseuds/Graceful_Storyteller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Prompt: Avengers (movieverse), the team, Somehow, they all get de-aged.</p>
<p>
  <i>“Do you know how to change them back?”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“No sir. But we have the best minds in the world working for-”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Yeah, and one of those minds is currently finger-painting with what use to be Captain America while the other plays heroes and villains with our resident bull-in-a-china-shop demigod.”</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Work with Children (they're animals)

“Sir, with all due respect, I don’t think it was a good idea to ask Loki for help.”

 

Fury narrows his good eye at the agent. “Tell me son, do you know how the Avengers were reverted to how they were when they were six?”

 

“No sir.”

 

“Do you know how to change them back?”

 

“No sir. But we have the best minds in the world working for-”

 

“Yeah, and one of those minds is currently finger-painting with what use to be Captain America while the other plays heroes and villains with our resident bull-in-a-china-shop demigod.”

 

“S.H.I.E.L.D. has other scientists besides Stark and Banner.”

 

“You mean those white coats who would rather keep my Avengers as guinea pigs than change them back? I saw them salivating when they took their preliminary readings; I don’t blame Agent Barton for biting that one mother-fucker who was particularly handsy when he took his blood.”

 

“At least they won’t attempt to kill the Avengers while they’re vulnerable!”

 

“Loki won’t kill them. After he finished laughing his crazy ass off he said it was no fun squashing an opponent who can’t fight back. He’ll wait until they’re back to normal before he reverts to his usual homicidal self. Besides, I think Stark is starting to grow on him. That batshit mother-fucker was definitely pleased when he saw the kid had used him as inspiration for his super-villain costume. And I doubt he would have given Agent Romanov lessons on how a queen is supposed to sit if he was going to hurt her the minute my back was turned.”

 

“So you’re saying you trust Loki? You trust the guy that tried to take over the world not to take out his enemies while he has the chance?”

 

_“Were you not listening to what I just said?!”_ is what Fury wants to say. What he says instead is, “Agent, are you volunteering to babysit the Avengers? Because that sure sounds like what you’re doing.” Fury turns to the woman leaning against the console behind him and asks, “What do you think Agent Hill? Does it sound like he’s volunteering to relieve Loki of his babysitting duties?”

 

Agent Hill’s lips twist into a sneer. There’s bright green paint in her hair, the remnants of dinner on her boots, a mark on her forehead from where Clint shot her with his toy bow and arrows, and another on her cheek courtesy of Natasha. She’s also slightly singed from one of Bruce and Tony’s failed experiments. “That’s exactly what it sounds like to me.”

 

Fury smiles sardonically as he returns his attention to the agent. “You’re in luck son because I’m feeling gracious enough to grant your request. Go tell Loki his services are no longer required because you’re taking over. Let’s see how well he takes his new source of entertainment being stripped from him.”

 

The colour drains from the agent’s face. “Sir, would it be alright if I returned to work and pretended this conversation never happened?” the agent squeaks.

 

Fury leans forward with a vicious smile. “Son, that is the smartest thing you’ve said all day.”


End file.
